Packing

I can honestly say that I was a little disappointed in the ending of Skip Beat! But I'm still holding out for another season or something because I'm really not that satisfied lol.

I'm slowly cleaning up to realize that I will be leaving SoCal pretty soon in a matter of 2 weeks. I'll admit, I really don't know what I'm doing or getting myself into for going back to Stockton so soon… a lot of things I have been doing lately are last minute and out of the blue. Ever since I was talking to a friend and he gave me his opinion of this person being a "yes girl" in relation to being a "yes man." Basically, they will agree to everything that anyone close to them would say just to show their sympathy. In contrast, I feel that I should be out more with my friends so, even though I do put up a fight sometimes, I really do appreciate it when people jump towards the occasion and just wants to hang out and cruise with me or just hang out with me. So I say yes.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's lunch. Maybe I can let loose just a little before I do go back up north and get my act together.

I feel like it's the beginning of college again and it's my time to move away from home. I think it's the feeling that I will be coming back home anyway that limits me to bring up things that'll express the real me. Yeah, I get to live in my own apartment but what I limit myself to bring up with me can give others the impression that I don't have much that I value. Like… I would love to be able to decorate my room with pictures of my friends, awards and certificates that I've accumulated over the years, novelty gifts and cards that I've received; within the past 4 years, I've moved about three times back home that has left me with no choice but to give away the 20+ stuffed animals that I've received as gifts since 3^rd grade, I've thrown away boxes of letters that my friends have written to me since 2^nd grade since I did move a lot which resulted in me writing a lot of letters, I've lost a lot of my artwork because of the carelessness of my family taking care of my things while I was gone. With just a small car to take everything up and down California, it only make sense that I leave more room for school essentials and bedding than to take up room with those things of which I can only wish to have up north to decorate my room. When I go into other people's rooms in either the dorms or places they have off campus, I see their crazy comforters, beddings, intense posters and all of those things up on their walls as well as bean bag chairs and all that such—only to find that it is later thrown away or just tossed like it's nothing. IDK I guess I just miss having my own room where I can fully express myself. But even when I do move up north, I'm limited to what I can and can't bring, so it's not much better than staying at a friend's house and living out of a suitcase. I'm feeling like a complicated person right now, lol. My bad =)

So I'm cleaning and got to talk to the boyfriend about some random issues and discussion worthy topics and I stumbled upon my Pacific Seminar 3 reading assignments and essays. When I was taking Bioethics I would always talk to people about things so here are some topics I kinda want to bring back just to hear from people:

• Is pure altruism possible or is some personal benefit inherent in every act of goodwill?
  
• Why is a nonviolent approach that follows the book and rules the best way to get one's point across? (think Martin Luther King's Letter from the Birmingham Jail.
  
• If you were married to someone with kids and your significant other cheated on you, would you still keep the pet that you both together knew that every time you see this animal, it reminds you of them and their unfaithfulness? Soon enough, the animal drives you crazy but your kids that you are now responsible for are in love and are attached to it so now you're left with the burden of having your past stick with you even when you're trying to move on. One day the animal gets sick after years of putting up with it, and your kids are in tears… how do you think you would react?
  

Couple other things:

• How far do friends go these days to find out if someone is right for their friend? Given that your friend has complained to you about this person already so you're already kinda given this attitude that maybe they shouldn't be together.
  
  • Confession: There are things said publicly on their end that I don't agree with but I have to realize my place. Who am I to stand in between two people's potential happiness when I don't understand their behind-the-scene stories and their intimate life?
    
  • It's because of this that I realize I have a lot of good friends who really care for me when they try to dig up things or notice things and tell me before I could get hurt and find out on my own. I appreciate the efforts. =)
    
• How far do current boyfriends/girlfriends go to find out about the other's past and dig up stuff about a recent exe? Speaking in terms of those around my age now because I don' even want to think about how crazy high school girls go just to find out things about their boyfriend's exes at that age.
  
• Can someone be so open- minded be disappointed in those who are closed-minded?
  

So I've been working on a couple projects lately involving a lot of stuff for School and just writing some letters of appeals and working on getting financial matters taken care of. I do feel a sense of being MIA and I'm limiting myself to keep in touch with most people right now before I get these things done. Yup…