Mellow/Depressed

One of the two... I can't decide what it is but one definitely takes the attention away better than the other.

I don't know guys... a lot of ups and downs and just screwy things happening with me right now. Either it's really bad karma or my mind isn't just set like it should be. I'm starting school again tomorrow and I don't know what to really expect. 6 weeks... 3 days each week... 18 days of school... 2.5 hours each day... $700 of tuition for 45 hours of schooling... lame... now add the gas and everything... ugh it's so depressing.

so most of the people who follow me on twitter and even facebook has messaged me through texts and everything for the past 2 days and I really do appreciate you guys asking about me. i'm perfectly fine and, really, the guy that was in front of me had it so much worse since he spun out and hit the median. it doesn't change the fact that for someone who's in the hole with money already, to be in the situation where i need to spend MORE sucks... serious business...

kinda have been living life lately and things have just been happening... i prefer the talks over the phone if anything and especially now that i have my blue tooth, i can use both my hands again and it may sound lame but i do find it really useful and long drives won't be as bad anymore.

for some reason i just had a flash back of being with someone who i really didn't want to be with because it was one of those people where you'd have a long drive with but they don't talk to you or say anything. so whenever im with him and we travel anywhere far, i'd just go to sleep. hypocritical to say that i hate passengers who do that when i'm driving but every one of my passengers so far have been up and is always talking to me. anyway, so my point is that through the long trips, rather than not talking to him sometimes, i just always called charles or farmer to talk to lol and i loved it. one time i even got a hold of my friend from alabama and we talked forever on the phone. sad cuz this person that's driving was my bf at the time so i do kinda feel bad that i made him go through this but at the same time... i really didn't care, obviously. so yeah, i know it's not going to be like that with mr. man but for my own purposes of getting stuff done, i think talking on the phone with a bluetooth is one of the smaller plusses in life right now. 3 months without a bluetooth headset is a killer... really... for someone like me who loves long talks... it is lol

the other pluses right now is just being able to talk to him at any time of the day whenever i have something to rant about, farmer who actually was on his way to work then busted a U to help me out today (fckn awesome), and i got to finally talk to my sister... after almost another year and a half... it's funny how financial struggles and family issues bring the siblings together... im still happy that i can talk to her boyfriend if anything. weird but it makes me feel a little closer to her... but don't let her know, readers. =)

anyway, time to just pamper up and head out to fry's again to see if i can get myself this job... AGAIN. i can't say that i'm not losing hope but it's a struggle to find a summer job for almost less than 2 months...

i really miss being an RA with a stable paycheck every two weeks direct deposited and all that business. it's not even funny... i really do miss working at the Housing Office and helping parents and students with their Housing needs rather than just trying to sell things to my close friends down here lol home is not the place for business and--shoot--anybody who grows up between the 22 freeway and the 405 knows damn well our pockets aren't made to purchase any fine cutlery and all that.

don't even get me started on my boss... i didn't think i'd ever meet the pushiest or most twisted minded sales person until i met him... all the tricks and everything that I've used to criticize people in sales who have no compassion for customers, HE HAS IT ALL... and with my friends who i've demonstrated the products to, they got to hear him talk to me and they saw how uncomfortable i was. not that i couldn't keep my composure and be professional, but morally... i couldn't take what he was trying to do. how is it that i call my boss to tell him that i won't get back til morning after my car accident and he says, "well now you just gotta try harder to sell and make that money to help with your situation" -_-

i don't regret quitting.

big big big thing i need to work on: getting too excited for something. i hate how i hype things up and then it doesn't turn out to be the way i thought it would turn out. same thing with making plans... all the plans i make always get pushed back or cancelled on me... so no more making plans and just letting things happen... like last night when i was just cruising with farmer. i loved it. like when my bub and i talked about spectrum but in the end i wanted to show him huntington beach and things just happened =) all good things are spontaneous. so far at least

so even if there are great news and stuff that's being told me to... even at this moment, i don't think i'm going to tell anybody until it's actually happening. hence, twitter.

btw... i'm really thinking about not following like... an assful of people on twitter because they just tweet/text about stuff that nobody can really comment back to and i'm sorry but it's like... if you don't get a response... then take a hint. damn... harsh... suck on a lime.

the obvious way to calm my annoyance is obvious... first is to make sure i'm not getting cell alerts from people. and the second obvious thing is to NOT follow the person anymore... so... yeah it's gonna be like that. i'm starting to think i'm the only one who knows how to d name rather than @name on twitter... but at the same time i love how i twitter and those who follow me read it and they text me to see how i'm doing or to see what's up. THOSE... i very much appreciate =)

sounds like it takes a lot to please me just through twitter but if my friends who i havent seen for over a year can go up to me and DnB and tell me that i update my facebook/twitter way too much... i can't imagine how insane some of the people on these friends' list can take all of these text like twitters to everyone.

i saw someone twitter lol... what the fuck, people?

i know i'm classy. suck on a lime and drink some devil's piss. lol (you like that, bub?)