Accountability

definitely a word that has been emphasized a lot throughout the past three days since i've been in training. i love being with my RAs and training with those who have been working in the same field for the past 4 years, cuz we get it and what's best is that we get each other.

i wish i can say the same for others when it comes to them being able to take care of themselves and be held accountable for what they say and do.



to speak for myself, i have made some horrible decisions in my life but i've held myself accountable and have owned up to it. I've made it a promise to myself ever since high school to always confront people about anything that i may be called out for and nobody can say that I haven't ever backed out on this. it's a bit frustrating when others avoid this though and haven't matured enough to realize that they need to do the same.

i wish that i can talk to people and clear things up with them without hearing them making up excuse and just take into account that accountability.

i hate how i can call someone out for ruining something for me and then they automatically get all defensive and say that they didn't do one thing as if i'm supposed to ignore the fact that they did the other. if i really must blow this person up, i would but i won't.

with one of my extreme break ups, i had a threat saying, "i'm going to ruin your life here at Pacific cuz i know people too. i'm going to tell your professors about how bad of a person you are and make your life miserable." of course this didn't affect me because i was rational enough to know that he was just mad at me and he wouldn't have the balls to go up to my professors and tell them about how bad i treated him. lol it's really a good laugh thinking that he would think that would change anything or make it better.

2 years later i'm dealing with a complete loser who thinks that since he can't take me on that he's going ahead and tell his whole family about me as if his words will really stand up against my own. i get that family sticks together but it's all how you play the cards in trying to gain someone's trust and right now, buddy, you're nothing but an instigator and being judged yourself so don't even think that just cuz you're spreading shit about me that you're being looked upon as something good.

who would want to live with a person knowing that he would always run to others crying about another all the time. nobody wants to live with someone who complains all the time. if your friends are constantly leaving you left and right, and even your parents are giving you so much shit and bitching at you... maybe it's time you think about how YOU live your life and why is it that everyone's treating u like shit... you ever think it's you?

i uphold my values and many can say that i have a great relationship with my mom and that both my parents love me and i love them in return. how many people have you complained to that portrayed your mom in a bad light? think about what you share before you take your whole family down with your pathetic view on life.

when was the last time you gave back to the community and did anything good without emphasizing how much stress YOU'RE going through? even at the chance to be the most altruistic, you turn the light on how sad and depressed you are... ugh.. disgusting.

and when people call you out on this, don't start getting all sad and defenseless. it's pathetic. even when u get defensive it's pathetic because you're trying to sugarcoat your dramatic/diva ass. just fuckin own up and realize that you need to change.

//

ps. to all the high schoolers who are depressed and talk about moving out... don't say anything if you have no job experience or didn't bother to try in school to get into a college. too caught up in the party scene and drama to care to prepare yourself for life. you say you hate your parents but you aren't working up to anything much than a bum right out of high school.

it's common sense. if you want a good future, you prepare early. wtf have u been doing with your life? maybe that's why you're depressed and hating your life now. i'm just saying.