act already

4 years ago i was talking to someone about potentially making use of our network and connections to bring the dance community to the stockton community since there are mad talents here in the 209 but it's unforunate that we don't have many ties to the dance life... 3 years later and i'm still planning for the Breakthrough Dance competition and i'm making use of my network and friends who are nice enough to travel around and teach classes for my dance team and the community... while the other person who i was talking to is nowhere to be seen and is even talking to me about trying to get him to teach or whatever... yeah that aint happening and i think it's quite pathetic coming from someone who is FROM stockton himself and i'm not even gonna be here for long...

lately i've been a little bugged at how people like to talk and tell others that they can do something but they don't do it. so i call them out on it not because i don't trust them or believe them but it's cuz i WANT to believe them so I want to trust that they can do what they can do rather than leaving the rest of us with some false hope.

again... lately i feel like i've been doing a lot of the harder work in hopes for people to just make a little effort to put in SOME work... but no... it's not even there... i don't get it... i feel like i could be doing more elsewhere for those who care more.

i keep my composure the best i can when i'm around others. if people really know me, they know that i feel really uncomfortable with hugging... there are only a handful of people who i would hug over others and it's only because we've shed blood and tears and have gone through so much... i'm very upset that people are passing judgment on me just because i don't hug them. both girls and guys.

with the filipino community... i already find it awkward enough when i get kissed on the cheek... mano po is so invasive for me so yeah... having to fight against my comfort zone just to satisfy someone else isn't gonna happen unless i REALLY want to get on someone's good side, and that's just my boyfriend's parents lol the rest of you can just suck it up and realize that i'm just not the tight huggy kinda person.

i ran into such a random tangent just then... but yeah... people are gonna have to start picking up their slack. if not then it's not that i mind too much, i have a lot of people who would love to help me with future events and i trust them enough. sucks that i can't trust those who i really want to trust due to their lack of communication and commitment.